
You say on your blog that one of your New Years resolutions is to "Foster the friendships that are meaningful and forget ones that are harmful and toxic to me..." and we haven't spoken since before Christmas. We used to talk just about every day. I haven't been able to reach any of the three of you. I've called you all and left messages. I've run into you together at the store. It's clear now, you were avoiding me. So my only conclusion is that I must be one of the toxics.
If
Coming to your house and taking your baby for the day so you can rest from a rough pregnancy...
Meeting over coffee just about everyday of the week...
Listening when you have hard times you need to talk about...
Being with you in the emergency room...
Helping you move your son...
Staying with kids while you and your daughter try to recover her life...
Helping you look for a husband that you can't find...
Watching your children so that you can go to the ER...
Laughing with you over barbecues...
Helping you design and landscape your yard...
Loving you no matter what...
Spending days together on the beach...
Helping write letters to people who can give your daughter/granddaughter a chance with a dog...
Calling to check on you when your mother has been told she is very sick...
Having you over for Thanks Giving Dinner...
is toxic... then I am guilty.
I never wanted ANYTHING in return, other than friendship. Something that I thought and trusted I had. Something that I counted on. Something you've suddenly seemingly ripped away from me...
Now my ability to trust friendship is poisoned. You have affected not only me. How can explain, when I don't understand myself, to my kids when they ask to play with yours? My ability to worship and find comfort in my church home has been taken from me. You have done so much damage... It's becoming increasingly clear that maybe the toxins don't lie with me...
Because now I think,
it's
YOU
who have become toxic to ME...
I wish you hadn't done this. I still hold out hope that this is some mangled mistake, but as each day goes by...
I see more clearly...
that you have abandoned me.
In poison.