Travis

This is Travis. He's my soul mate. He's my BEST friend. If I didn't have him in my life, I'd be lost. He's everything to me. I'm so grateful that God gave him to me. Travis is a Police Officer. I try not to think about what I would do if he were to die at work. What good does it do? If I worry, I'm just sad. Life is dangerous. There have been more deaths at the Mill near us than in the law enforcement here. So we have a deal. We don't leave eachother without the last thing we said being I love you. Life is what will happen. Worry is what will keep you from enjoying the good parts. I don't want to have something happen to Travis and THEN realize I missed out on so many good times because I was worrying. So I don't. Still. There are times when he tells me about things at work that remind me how close he is everyday to being gone. THEN I cry. Because THAT'S when I let my mind think about life without him. It's a strange feeling. We SHOULD all have it. We are all on the edge of dying. Not to be morbid, but we are. It's just not so obvious to everyone else. I'm trying to live my life as if the last time I see someone may be the last. Not to focus on the negetive of that, but on leaving them knowing I won't have regrets if I never see them in this life again. Travis is doing what he loves. It's a job he was made for. I know and he knows it. He's great at it, and I love that he does it. My Friend, My Soul Mate. He deserves to love what he does. 

Ian

This is Ian. He has the gift. I had the gift. Not everyone HAS the gift. I lost mine. Too many babies. He's thin like I was as a kid. I was elbows and knees. Last summer, Ian realized that he too had the gift. Don't ask me how we find the gift. Must come from that hour in front of the bathroom mirror before we shower. Maybe you can find the gift if you don't look in the mirror. Kind of like on Harry Potter. That mirror only worked and gave him the stone because he didn't want to USE the stone. Only find it. not really sure WHERE you could USE the gift. It looks a little gross to be honest. See for yourself! Tell me. Where can looking like you are from a third world country come in handy? Ok. There's that. It COULD get you fed at a restaurant. MAYBE. I wish I still had the gift. Just to show Ian where he got it. Travis says I'm just GROSS. He says that the gift is GROSS. He's really just jealous that HE didn't get the gift. It's not from his side of the family.

Macs

This is Macs. It's short for Mackenzy. Mackenzy IS a boy's name. It means SON OF THE WISE RULER. That means it's a boy's name. We don't actually KNOW any boys named Mackenzy. We do know a few girls. We go with Macs. Or Cheeze. Cheeze is from a cartoon called Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Cheeze likes chocolate milk. So does Macs. Cheeze likes CEEEEEEreal. So does Macs. Macs is Cheeze. There is no way around it. I don't know where the producers met Macs, but they DEFINATELY based Cheeze on my Macs. The first time I called him Cheeze, Macs tod me "No. I not Cheeze." I told him he was. "Oh. I'm Cheeze?" yes. I say. you are cheeze. "Oh! I'm Cheeze!" So there. That's my Cheeze. Who, by the way, also LOVES Bob the Builder. "Lockey (lofty) and Wendy join the Pilcher" "Can we Pix it? (fix it) Yes WE CAN!!"

Josh

This is Josh. He's my middle boy. I was so worried about him getting lost in the middle. You know THEY? well, I heard that THEY say that middle kids can get lost in the middle. Look at Malcolm. He's in the middle. He's lost. When we decided to put Josh in the middle, I really didn't want to lose him. I decided to put him in the you're the only one who's a big brother AND a little brother spot instead. So far it's working. I haven't lost him yet! 

In Love

I love blogging. I love it. I'm in love with it. It is better than any journal I have EVER had. I love it I love it I love it. Di I mention I love it? I love it. It's better than...... Well. Ok I won't go THAT far. It does let me think clearly. It's my version of Professor Dumbledor's pensive! It helps me take out those thoughts swirling around in my head. It helps me say things that I don't want to bogg my husband with. Did I mention I love it? I'm so happy to have it! If you are reading this and feel the same way, I'd like to know. Really. Thanks to my getting more computer savy than me mother, I have a new passion. It's been really nice. I love it.

STRESS.... a great way to lose weight!

Ever since I had Macs, I've been battling losing those last 15 or 20 pounds. I weigh myself, and there the needle sits. The same stinking spot it was LAST time I weighed. I walk with a friend, I eat better, and there the stupid needle sits. I'm tall, so most people don't even notice the weight, but I DO. I see most of it in my face. My husband likes to see it in my butt. I like to see it in my boobs. I really wouldn't mind if I hadn't lost the cute cut of my chin. I didn't even know I had a cute chin until I lost it! Then one day, I saw a picture of myself, and realized I was missing a chin! Not in a huge, OH MY GOSH she really got fat way, just a wow my neck looks fat way. A where exactly IS the line for where my chin was way. I was putting on my self tanning lotion today, (I read that spanish people have higher risk of skin cancer, and I'm 1/4 spanish, so I thought I'd start being RESPONSIBLE with my skin) and I realized that I'm getting my chin back! YES!!! I got on the scale, and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. It says I'm 10, yes, TEN pounds thinner! My chin is NOT lost! Rachel, you are probably asking right now.... what did you DO to find your chin!? Well, I'll tell you! I STRESSED MYSELF SICK! That's it! I think I'll write a book! No excersise needed! No drugs! No diet change! Simply find a way to make yourself sick with stress and let the pounds MELT off of your chin!

I'm NOT a computer dummy!

I did it! I got this picture into my profile FINALY! It took me forever, but I did it! The first few times I did it, something went wrong, and then today I managed to really mess things up, and couldn't get on line for a while. FInally, I did it! And I did it all on my own! I also had to TAKE this picture on my own.... Thank goodness for the self portrait setting on my camera!

Such a bad MOM

I'm such a bad mom! I have forgotten Josh's sixth birthday TWICE in less than a week! I had to postpone his birthday celebration with friends because I forgot until it was too late to plan one, and now, here it is, a week later, and I've just about done it again! Finally, I got the invitations ready, but now I have to remember them for school tomorrow! How bad am I? I did remember to get the grandparents together, and Josh was none the wiser, but this week was CLOSE! If I get caught forgetting, I'll never hear the end of it! SUCH a bad MOM!

Here is that beautiful boy blowing out his birthday COOKIES (the store didn't HAVE the cupcakes he wanted) Everyone in the family gets the dinner of their choice on their birthdays. Josh chose Mashed Potato and Gravy, Hot Daogs and "Good Chilli. What a combination!

Today

Today we are going to officially switch to a new buyer for our house. I really want this to work out. I so have my heart set on the one we are buying! I'm all over nervous about everything falling through. I can't sleep, my stomach hurts, I'm crabby, I have a headache all the time. I feel all around lousy. I REALLY need some ice cream. Chocolate would be good too. I'll probably have to go to Dairy Queen for fries today. If I walk, then I cancel out the caleries that I'll be eating. So much do and not enough time in the day. I have a friend who swears that she can get 36 hours out of the day, but I'm pretty sure she is stealing from ME. When this is all over, I swear I'm not nearly as depressing, and I'll show you. Today, you get messy me.

When did that happen?

This is my son Ian. He and I went to the snow with friends this spring and had a blast. It was so nice to be alone with him. Usually these days, it's me and AT LEAST two of the boys. Well, Josh is in school now, so if he and Ian are there, then it's just Macs and me. Otherwise, it's two or all. Never one. This trip was great, because we had the chance to play again and really enjoy each other! Sometimes I feel like I missed Ian's childhood. He's not really grown yet, but I was single, working, playing and getting married when he was little. My mom is the one who got to play with him, and took the time to relish him. I wish I could go back. I would choose to be a different mom. Sure I spent time with him everyday in kindergarten, but somehow, I missed things. I was there, and involved, but something in me wasn't realizing how truly fleeting that time would be. It's happening again with Josh. How do you slow things down? I see now that everyday goes by faster than the last, and I can't figure out how to slow down so I can savor every moment I have with my kids. I mean, just yesterday, Josh was two, and now he's SIX. He doesn't LOOK little, and he doesn't ACT little. Wish I could figure out where the time is slipping to......

15 minutes.... just 15.

Fly lady says that I can do anything for 15 min. Today, I'm going to stay calm and sane for 15 min. I'm going to keep my voice calm when I talk to my kids. I'm going to keep my stomach from eating me alive by thinking about packing instead of whether there will be a place to move to once it's done. I can do anything for 15 min! It's worth a try. I'm going to focus for 15 at a time, and take time to BREATH in between. Please, God. Make today worth every 15 min.

Hello!

Hello! It's rachel here! I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. If you are thinking about buying a house soon, I'd advise you to get on drugs BEFORE you do it. I'm the mother of two boys and a tornado named Macs. Macs at the moment, has been pushing VERY HARD to help me with the breakdown. Today I felt like I couldn't BREATHE I was sick to my stomach all day. I wish that I could find that magic wand I lost when I was a little girl! Things would be so much easier if I could just remember where I PUT it! So that's my encouraging and regaling first post! Come back soon! I'm sure I'll have more fun to share!